That is my name from now on. It took me a long time to realise this. I thought it was easy since I was a good girl. But I was so blinded by who I wanted to be. I took a long walk and ended up at the crossroad. In the end, I learnt to be a child first. I learnt who my Father was. I felt like an orphan for the longest time. But once I got to know Him, I started to take Him for granted.
It is always like that, isn't it? When you are close to someone, you start to forget to communicate and take for granted that what is not said is meant to be understood. But in life, relationships need communication. I don't know how I became more and more complacent. I expect things to happen when I ask Him for help. I take it that since I am His child, He would do everything I asked.
But it is not like that, isn't it? It is a relationship that requires much time, love and care. Just like any human relationship. If you love Him, you need to spend time with Him. If you want to know Him, you need to read His Memoirs to understand His Thoughts, Ideas and Beliefs. In understanding Him, I need to take time to build a deeper relationship with Him. In loving Him, I need to trust Him through actions and not just words.
This is my name. Faithful till the day I die. I used to want you to call me other names. Beautiful, Blessing, Gifted, Joyful, Loving, etc. Today, I have a new name and this seems most comfortable! As the song goes... I will follow you, follow you wherever you may go! Lord, let me be able to come before you one day and hear you call me by name.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Boundaries
Do you have any boundaries? I am sure you would say you have. I have crossed quite a few people's boundaries in my lifetime. Sometimes I step on people's toes, sometimes I find myself speechless after a barrage of words being thrown at me due to the crossing of certain boundaries. Most of the time, I feel myself eating humble pie for not knowing how to keep within the boundaries of others.
You see, when I was growing up... I never knew much about boundaries. Where I was not supposed to go, I have been there. I never just interact with people of my age. When I was 12 years old, I chatted with people who were in their 20s and 30s. I could carry a decent conversation and never felt out of place. I never knew such a thing as boundaries. When I was 16 years old, I was counselling people I never met over the phone about relationship issues. Perhaps it was the fact that I didn't know any boundaries, I had some regrets over decisions I made over the years.
I used to think boundaries would restrict the freedom to speak and the catharsis of sharing. So I never kept real boundaries for the longest time. However, as I get wiser *smile*, I realise the wisdom of respecting boundaries.
1. Being silent about things spoken to me and not share everything I hear to my good friends.
2. Keeping mum for the moment although I want to ask questions about the who, where, what and why.
3. Learning when to let someone in and when to keep someone out so that I don't get emotionally drained.
4. Appreciating the beauty of waiting for the unknown and the unspoken.
5. Respecting others' need to blow up in my face and knowing that this is not going to destroy who I am.
6. Allowing myself time to grieve over lost friendships and not try to save it so quickly like I used to do.
Perhaps this is integral of the process of growing up...
*chuckles*
You see, when I was growing up... I never knew much about boundaries. Where I was not supposed to go, I have been there. I never just interact with people of my age. When I was 12 years old, I chatted with people who were in their 20s and 30s. I could carry a decent conversation and never felt out of place. I never knew such a thing as boundaries. When I was 16 years old, I was counselling people I never met over the phone about relationship issues. Perhaps it was the fact that I didn't know any boundaries, I had some regrets over decisions I made over the years.
I used to think boundaries would restrict the freedom to speak and the catharsis of sharing. So I never kept real boundaries for the longest time. However, as I get wiser *smile*, I realise the wisdom of respecting boundaries.
1. Being silent about things spoken to me and not share everything I hear to my good friends.
2. Keeping mum for the moment although I want to ask questions about the who, where, what and why.
3. Learning when to let someone in and when to keep someone out so that I don't get emotionally drained.
4. Appreciating the beauty of waiting for the unknown and the unspoken.
5. Respecting others' need to blow up in my face and knowing that this is not going to destroy who I am.
6. Allowing myself time to grieve over lost friendships and not try to save it so quickly like I used to do.
Perhaps this is integral of the process of growing up...
*chuckles*
Saturday, March 21, 2009
The Grieving of Loss - A Process or The End?
Max Lucado described grief as "the black bag of sorrow" and he puts forth so aptly...
Grief lingers. As silently as a cloud slides between you and the afternoon sun, memories drift between you and joy, leaving you in a chilly shadow. No warning. No notice. Just a whiff of the cologne he wore or a verse of the song she loved, and you are saying goodbye all over again. Why won't the sorrow leave you alone? Because you buried more than a person. You buried some of yourself. {Max Lucado ~ Travelling Light, pg.90}
When I was much younger, I experienced a sorrow that as a child I never really understood. I cried because I missed my dad. Everything around me reminded me of him. I am sure it was hundred times or thousand times worse for my mom. A large part of her probably died with him too.
Recently, a friend of mine experienced a similar loss. Her dearly beloved husband passed away due to cancer, a condition which took no more than 6 months of suffering and God took him home last week. Right now, I am sure that she is experiencing the similar feelings and thoughts that Max Lucado was writing about. In fact, I gathered from our common friends that she is suffering and experiencing a great sense of grief.
Where do I begin to comfort her? I found it hard to face her and yet to go and visit her. To me, death of a loved one was a period in time that I don't want to revisit. I find it hard to sit through a funeral wake without feeling detached or awkward. The truth is I find it hard to face grief without triggering my own. Of course, it has been a long time ago and I have received much help through counselling and healing from God. A part of my fear long buried away tends to surface whenever I encounter yet another funeral. I know that I am a deserter when it comes to grief. I struggle whenever I am asked to attend a funeral wake.
I can accept that death is God's way of telling us that it is time to go home. I imagine that my Christian friend in his last hour would have been looking towards Heaven and connecting with God. But his wife who is left behind is the one that have to face the empty and lonely days ahead. Who are we to tell these people to move on and get on with their lives? With all our good intentions, much to the chagrin of the grieving person, we become the cause of their deepened sorrow. Some people just take a longer time to grieve. For many people, they just have to walk through the long alley of loneliness and the tunnel of self pity before getting to the bridge of hope.
I guess if we can see this as a process and a much needed one, we stop all that talk about moving on quickly. By allowing the grieving person to move at their own pace through this much needed process, it allows her to take ownership of her own feelings and thoughts. It also gives her full authority to decide when the day of moving on will be. God has made us to be discerning people and He has given us the Holy Spirit to teach us everything we need to know (John 14:26). He has promised to be with us through it all (Rom 8:38-39).
So at the right time, my grieving friend will move on with the help of the Holy Spirit. For now, I just have to sit next to her, hold her hand, let her cry and let her talk about her grief. Most of all, I will pray that she recognizes God's presence in those lonely moments of her life when no one is around with her.
Can you understand? Will you do the same for someone else?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Where Charity is... Love Prevails
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Charity. He had a heart that was so big, he wanted to embrace the whole world. When he was young, he understood that people around needed love. So he would go around to give love to them. Whenever he gave away some love, he would be filled with love almost immediately in return. You see, he had a loving father who loves him dearly. Each hug Charity gave away, he received ten times more from his father. He knew he had an everlasting supply of love as long as he stays close to his father.
One day, Charity met a girl named Self. She told him that he should keep some love away as reserves. "No one would notice that you kept some for yourself" said Self quietly. He listened and thought to himself. It sounds rather logical to him. Hence, from that day forth, whenever he gave love away, he would keep a handful of it tucked away in his pocket where he also kept his secret stash of sweets. The ones he kept away from prying eyes and hands. Self reminded Charity, "After all, what happens when you leave your father one day? What are you left with? He can't be with you all the time. He is so busy with his other children. Sometimes, you don't seem to be able to reach or connect with him. So it's better to keep some love by your side. Your father will be pleased with your prudence."
Charity was convinced and he went about his usual ways. But as the days went by, the handful became a bit more than a handful, then it was an armful and more. More and more love were kept as reserves. Charity thought, "No harm keeping for a rainy day. My father will be proud of me." Soon the people around him felt cold towards him. They could not understand why Charity had become so calculative these days. He was not the same person as they once knew.
One day, Charity's father asked him to sit down for a chat. He told Charity that he noticed that he has been rather quiet lately. No more smiles and no more dancing on a sunny day. Charity shook his head when his father asked if he was unhappy that he could not be around some of the times. Charity grinned as he shared with his father the bags of love that he had accumulated over time. He was sure that his father would be pleased. His father took one look at the bags. "What have you done?" he exclaimed and sighed very deeply. "Love is meant to be given away freely! When it is kept for selfish reasons, it grows bitter and can no longer be the same again." You see love given away will always return in abundance. Then when you give it away, there is always more to share."
Charity looked into the bags of love and discovered that they had turned mouldy and stale. He knew then that these bags of love could no longer be used by anyone any more. He felt so bad about wasting all that wonderful love. How could he forget what his father had told him? He knew he had to say sorry to his father. He told him that he would not do that again. Immediately, his father hugged him tightly and Charity felt a nice warm feeling creeping back into his heart. He knew that he was filled with love once again. He went out and gave away that love immediately to an old lady who was crying while sitting on a bench in the park. He sat there next to her and at the right moment, he left her his shoulder to cry on and a hanky to blow her nose. It was a simple act of love for that day. His father beamed with pride as he watched his son walked the old lady home. In his heart, he believed that Charity would continue to grow with love and give selflessly and someday, he would someday be a wonderful father to his own son.
When was the last time you gave love away?
by momoko (19.1.2009)
An old Catholic song goes....
Love it was that made us
And it was Love that saved us
Love was God's plan
When He made man
God's divine nature is love
Born of God's love
We must love Him
That's why He made us to love him
But only when we love all men
Can we partake of God's love
1 Cor 13:13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
One day, Charity met a girl named Self. She told him that he should keep some love away as reserves. "No one would notice that you kept some for yourself" said Self quietly. He listened and thought to himself. It sounds rather logical to him. Hence, from that day forth, whenever he gave love away, he would keep a handful of it tucked away in his pocket where he also kept his secret stash of sweets. The ones he kept away from prying eyes and hands. Self reminded Charity, "After all, what happens when you leave your father one day? What are you left with? He can't be with you all the time. He is so busy with his other children. Sometimes, you don't seem to be able to reach or connect with him. So it's better to keep some love by your side. Your father will be pleased with your prudence."
Charity was convinced and he went about his usual ways. But as the days went by, the handful became a bit more than a handful, then it was an armful and more. More and more love were kept as reserves. Charity thought, "No harm keeping for a rainy day. My father will be proud of me." Soon the people around him felt cold towards him. They could not understand why Charity had become so calculative these days. He was not the same person as they once knew.
One day, Charity's father asked him to sit down for a chat. He told Charity that he noticed that he has been rather quiet lately. No more smiles and no more dancing on a sunny day. Charity shook his head when his father asked if he was unhappy that he could not be around some of the times. Charity grinned as he shared with his father the bags of love that he had accumulated over time. He was sure that his father would be pleased. His father took one look at the bags. "What have you done?" he exclaimed and sighed very deeply. "Love is meant to be given away freely! When it is kept for selfish reasons, it grows bitter and can no longer be the same again." You see love given away will always return in abundance. Then when you give it away, there is always more to share."
Charity looked into the bags of love and discovered that they had turned mouldy and stale. He knew then that these bags of love could no longer be used by anyone any more. He felt so bad about wasting all that wonderful love. How could he forget what his father had told him? He knew he had to say sorry to his father. He told him that he would not do that again. Immediately, his father hugged him tightly and Charity felt a nice warm feeling creeping back into his heart. He knew that he was filled with love once again. He went out and gave away that love immediately to an old lady who was crying while sitting on a bench in the park. He sat there next to her and at the right moment, he left her his shoulder to cry on and a hanky to blow her nose. It was a simple act of love for that day. His father beamed with pride as he watched his son walked the old lady home. In his heart, he believed that Charity would continue to grow with love and give selflessly and someday, he would someday be a wonderful father to his own son.
When was the last time you gave love away?
by momoko (19.1.2009)
An old Catholic song goes....
Love it was that made us
And it was Love that saved us
Love was God's plan
When He made man
God's divine nature is love
Born of God's love
We must love Him
That's why He made us to love him
But only when we love all men
Can we partake of God's love
1 Cor 13:13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Que Sera Sera (Part II)
Each time I think about it, I come up with a new rationalisation or a new perspective. Funny, isn't it? It is so human to think and think about an incident, replay that situation over and over in your head. Looking at it from different perspectives and wondering what you could have done to rectify the matter.
Each time I wish I could change the result of how things turn out. If only I notice the change in her... if only I have been more aware... If only... If only. I wanted to take time to ponder over everything, even time to rant about how I felt misconstrued. But in the end, I just took time to enjoy being alone, to meet new people, enjoy new environments... I wanted to take time to write out how I felt... I ended up writing about what I saw, what I did and how I felt about those things. Hahaha... so much for taking time... during my KL trip.
In the end, it was when I came home that I actually had the chance to think about everything. I took some time to reflect about the friendship. The conclusion is simple. Nothing I can do now can change my relationship with her. Things have changed drastically. When the truth of the matter is out, I can only face it with much assurance that God is in charge of it.
Que sera sera... goes the song! So I am letting go. Letting go of the memories... letting go of the words exchanged... letting go of the disappointment... letting go so that both of us have a chance to move on!
Thanks for listening...
Each time I wish I could change the result of how things turn out. If only I notice the change in her... if only I have been more aware... If only... If only. I wanted to take time to ponder over everything, even time to rant about how I felt misconstrued. But in the end, I just took time to enjoy being alone, to meet new people, enjoy new environments... I wanted to take time to write out how I felt... I ended up writing about what I saw, what I did and how I felt about those things. Hahaha... so much for taking time... during my KL trip.
In the end, it was when I came home that I actually had the chance to think about everything. I took some time to reflect about the friendship. The conclusion is simple. Nothing I can do now can change my relationship with her. Things have changed drastically. When the truth of the matter is out, I can only face it with much assurance that God is in charge of it.
Que sera sera... goes the song! So I am letting go. Letting go of the memories... letting go of the words exchanged... letting go of the disappointment... letting go so that both of us have a chance to move on!
Thanks for listening...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Que Sera Sera (Part I)
For the second time this week, I lay awake in my bed. I know it has to do with the current matter that is bothering me. My first instinct is to question and figure what went wrong. My second instinct is to cry. My third instinct is to talk to God and ask Him why and what I can do.
I am lost for words! I felt God knew. What can I say? The matter seems out of my hands. What needed to be said were said. What's left of it is rotting in the cold air that comes and goes in this crazy weather.
Just when I think I knew everything about her, I know now that I know nothing. According to her, I have apparently caused her to feel burdened whenever I felt insecure in the last 3 years. According to her, my issues have been the direct and indirect cause of her physical ailments and sufferings. You know, this is the first time I feel that I have affected someone so negatively. I actually caused so much agony to someone. To the point that we cannot even belong to the same group any more. Wow!
When I was younger, I used to rant like mad whenever someone accused me falsely. I usually shut down and alienate the person. It was simple! But now that I am older and hopefully, wiser, I start to search for reasons that justify why my good friend is so mad with me. You see, whatever I say now, has a total different meaning as it reaches her ears. It feels like there is a distortion between what has been said and as it goes from my space to her space. I see a very hurt individual who winces at the words that I say to her. What happened to us? What happened to her? What happened to me?
Next week... time on my own... time to breathe... time to ponder...
I am lost for words! I felt God knew. What can I say? The matter seems out of my hands. What needed to be said were said. What's left of it is rotting in the cold air that comes and goes in this crazy weather.
Just when I think I knew everything about her, I know now that I know nothing. According to her, I have apparently caused her to feel burdened whenever I felt insecure in the last 3 years. According to her, my issues have been the direct and indirect cause of her physical ailments and sufferings. You know, this is the first time I feel that I have affected someone so negatively. I actually caused so much agony to someone. To the point that we cannot even belong to the same group any more. Wow!
When I was younger, I used to rant like mad whenever someone accused me falsely. I usually shut down and alienate the person. It was simple! But now that I am older and hopefully, wiser, I start to search for reasons that justify why my good friend is so mad with me. You see, whatever I say now, has a total different meaning as it reaches her ears. It feels like there is a distortion between what has been said and as it goes from my space to her space. I see a very hurt individual who winces at the words that I say to her. What happened to us? What happened to her? What happened to me?
Next week... time on my own... time to breathe... time to ponder...
Friday, June 20, 2008
The Heart of A Teacher
Today, I had to do something to him. He did not finish his homework as agreed previously. I was utterly disappointed by his actions. So I had to make him face the consequences of not doing part of his agreement. He looked pretty sheepish to me. I called his mom and told her about what I have decided to do. She agreed that it was fair. So I walked out of the session feeling quite upset and disllusioned. I felt that I have never been so harsh to anyone before. No matter how angry I got, I have never walked out on anyone. I have given my students many opportunities to make up.
I made a second call to his mom and she told me that he was rude to her and felt that she was gleeful about his demise. I was disgusted at his attitude towards his mother. The fact that he was punished was not due to her but due to his own actions. Yet, I felt he pushed all blame to her. How can anyone be so rude?
I felt so irritated that I started messaging a few of my friends and lamented about how we are bringing up brats in our present society. I was quite disllusioned by the time I was done complaining. However, a friend of mine asked me, "What would Jesus do?". That stumped me! He would not give up on this boy. He would pursue him with relentless belief. It also occurs to me that this is what God goes through with me...
Each time I fail to deliver what I promised.... God sighs.
Each time I said something and forgot all about it... God sighs.
Each time I take a long time to tithe... God sighs.
Each time I shouted at Him for not giving me what I want... God sighs.
Each time I use my time to do other more interesting things than to study His Word... God sighs deeply.
Time after time, He forgives me... He gives me opportunities to change...
Time after time, He allows me to come back even after I fail him in so many ways. On some of these occasions, He allows consequences and situations to teach me a lesson.
So I relented... I know I too in my own ways have been like my student. In his heart, he probably grumbles and whines about how unfair I am. But I hope he understands that I do it for his own good. To let him understand that we are all accountable for our actions. I feel humbled by the whole experience. I don't regret walking out on him... in fact I am thankful.
For I have a deeper revelation of the heart of My dearest Teacher
I made a second call to his mom and she told me that he was rude to her and felt that she was gleeful about his demise. I was disgusted at his attitude towards his mother. The fact that he was punished was not due to her but due to his own actions. Yet, I felt he pushed all blame to her. How can anyone be so rude?
I felt so irritated that I started messaging a few of my friends and lamented about how we are bringing up brats in our present society. I was quite disllusioned by the time I was done complaining. However, a friend of mine asked me, "What would Jesus do?". That stumped me! He would not give up on this boy. He would pursue him with relentless belief. It also occurs to me that this is what God goes through with me...
Each time I fail to deliver what I promised.... God sighs.
Each time I said something and forgot all about it... God sighs.
Each time I take a long time to tithe... God sighs.
Each time I shouted at Him for not giving me what I want... God sighs.
Each time I use my time to do other more interesting things than to study His Word... God sighs deeply.
Time after time, He forgives me... He gives me opportunities to change...
Time after time, He allows me to come back even after I fail him in so many ways. On some of these occasions, He allows consequences and situations to teach me a lesson.
So I relented... I know I too in my own ways have been like my student. In his heart, he probably grumbles and whines about how unfair I am. But I hope he understands that I do it for his own good. To let him understand that we are all accountable for our actions. I feel humbled by the whole experience. I don't regret walking out on him... in fact I am thankful.
For I have a deeper revelation of the heart of My dearest Teacher
~ JESUS ~
(19.6.2008)
Monday, June 16, 2008
A Note To Myself: To Wait or Not to Wait
We are just friends so I don't expect much from you
All I hope is that you remember my sms was an invitation
Just to meet and chat about life and things to come
We don't even meet that often, just once in a short while
When we do meet... time would just pass us by
I guess it feels like you never received my sms
This was a really perfect weekend for me
No work, no extra-curricular activities
I had it free so that I can do something fun
I waited and waited but heard nothing from you
So I figured you got busy and forgot
I won't intrude into your space as I respect you
But it wasn't because of you that the weekend was crappy
It was my realisation that I did not sms anyone else
It reveals how I do not do much to change my situation
I made an important decision today
I am not waiting any more for anyone
I will take good care of the time I have left
A new beginning for a new Anne
Perhaps someone else will do the waiting for once
The choice is really up to him/her
(15 June 2008)
All I hope is that you remember my sms was an invitation
Just to meet and chat about life and things to come
We don't even meet that often, just once in a short while
When we do meet... time would just pass us by
I guess it feels like you never received my sms
This was a really perfect weekend for me
No work, no extra-curricular activities
I had it free so that I can do something fun
I waited and waited but heard nothing from you
So I figured you got busy and forgot
I won't intrude into your space as I respect you
But it wasn't because of you that the weekend was crappy
It was my realisation that I did not sms anyone else
It reveals how I do not do much to change my situation
I made an important decision today
I am not waiting any more for anyone
I will take good care of the time I have left
A new beginning for a new Anne
Perhaps someone else will do the waiting for once
The choice is really up to him/her
(15 June 2008)
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Faith in Many Colours
tenderness in his hands
as beauty awakens
embracing and believing
fading yellow shades dissipate
departing from his arms
as time deliberates
maturing and nurturing
leaves in brown and black shadows
crumbling into his hands
as faith dies
humbling and reflecting
golden oil drips upon dying leaves
anointed by his hands
as faith re-awakens
renewing and refreshing
This vision was given to me during a Sunday service at Trinity Christian Centre. I felt very touched by the imagery and decided to pen down these thoughts. My heart was becoming dry brown leaves recently as I got busy with work and interests. I felt farther away from His love and attention. But when I got up to meet God in His inner santuary, I am thankful that He reminded me of the importance of being "oiled" by Him on a regular basis. Praise God for sharing this vision with the lady who prayed over me. It gave me great hope and encouragement that God has not forgotten me and His promises to me.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
反省
當心門一打開, 心就會碎了
當心門一關上, 心卻冷了
不怕心碎, 只怕心会僵硬
为何把心门打开
是为了全心去爱
为何把心门关起来
是为了多爱自己一点点
这一路来, 真的好累啊
这一回要为自己争气
朋友，为我加油吧！
有一天奇迹会出现的!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Waiting for A Miracle
I believe in miracles. Not just because the Bible tells me so. God has His Ways of showing us what He has in store. In my life, I hear many incidents of people telling me how God has provided them in occasions where they have lost hope initially. I know I cannot convince you about something that you have not personally experienced it yourself. I can only say that I have experienced the very real feeling of being broke right to the very last cent in my bank account and receiving a cheque that has been delayed for many weeks. The feeling is pure gratitude and an immense feeling of being loved by a Fatherly God.
In times when I thought things are gone for sure, He surprises me with new insights and discoveries. I am usually quite pessimistic when I am alone with my thoughts. Perhaps that is why God knows me well enough to show me alternative views and conclusions whenever I am too negative internally. For that, I am grateful and thankful. So I continue to wait for my next miracle... Are you waiting for a miracle? Just ask Him and He will bring one to you...
In times when I thought things are gone for sure, He surprises me with new insights and discoveries. I am usually quite pessimistic when I am alone with my thoughts. Perhaps that is why God knows me well enough to show me alternative views and conclusions whenever I am too negative internally. For that, I am grateful and thankful. So I continue to wait for my next miracle... Are you waiting for a miracle? Just ask Him and He will bring one to you...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Story: Of Butterflies and Pain
There was once an old man who took a walk after tea. He ate so much and was so full that he could barely bend down to tie his shoelaces. When he walked into a field of golden blossoms, he noticed a girl walking around the flowers with a butterfly net and a container. He stood there watching her.
She would walk quietly up to a bunch of flowers and stood still before them. She would swipe quickly at the flowers and in an instant, she would catch at least 5 butterflies. It seemed as if she has caught quite a few of them in her container. Soon it was time for her to go home. She gathered all her things and walked with a light skip.
The old man was curious about this girl and so he followed her home. He saw her enter a glass building. It was a huge glass house with lots of rooms. Each room was numbered from 1 to 20. What he saw in each room stunned him completely. There were many butterflies in each room. In the lower floors of the building, the old man could see that the butterflies were countless and each tagged with a number. He watched as the girl entered a new room that was still not quite filled with butterflies. She opened up the container of butterflies and reached inside the container carefully to remove one butterfly at a time.
She examined the butterfly carefully and smiled as she admired the colours and patterns on it. As she continued to appreciate the butterfly, she began to shed a few tears. After much crying, she would tagged the butterfly with a number and let it fly around the glass room. This sequence would repeat itself each time she took out a butterfly. The old man felt rather puzzled. He wanted to know why she did that over and over again.
Then when he was in the midst of his own thoughts, he saw that the girl had walked into the lower floors of the building and was completely surrounded by butterflies in a particular room. She was heard counting the tags on the butterflies aloud… 346, 305, 298, 249… It became rather clear to the old man what the girl was doing. So he went up to the door and knocked on it. The girl came to the door and gave the old man a puzzled look. “Who are you?” asked the girl. The old man said to her, “You don’t know me but I have been watching you the whole afternoon and I think you are killing yourself with these butterflies.” He shaked his head as he shared with her what he thought she was doing. She got very angry and slammed the door on his face. She rushed into her last room and sat there and started to cry.
The old man knew that the girl would not listen to his words for now and so he decided to leave for home. The girl sat there for a long time and stared at the butterflies in her room for a longer time.
At the first light of dawn, the girl was seen taking a container and walking towards the same field where she was catching the butterflies. One by one, she removed their tags and released them into the air. A peaceful smile came to her face as she watched them fly… free at last.
The old man stood by the side as he watched her let go of the butterflies. He smiled and knew that she understood what he had spoken to her.
What was it that the old man had said to the girl?
This is what he said to her:
IT IS TIME YOU STOP COUNTING THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU FELT PAIN IN YOUR LIFE...TIME TO STOP REVIEWING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IT IS TIME TO STOP WEARING ALL YOUR PAIN LIKE A BADGE OF BRAVERY…
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO LET GO OF THE PAIN AND LET IT FLY! THEN YOU ARE TOTALLY FREE OF THEM. THEN YOU CAN TRULY LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR ONCE!
She would walk quietly up to a bunch of flowers and stood still before them. She would swipe quickly at the flowers and in an instant, she would catch at least 5 butterflies. It seemed as if she has caught quite a few of them in her container. Soon it was time for her to go home. She gathered all her things and walked with a light skip.
The old man was curious about this girl and so he followed her home. He saw her enter a glass building. It was a huge glass house with lots of rooms. Each room was numbered from 1 to 20. What he saw in each room stunned him completely. There were many butterflies in each room. In the lower floors of the building, the old man could see that the butterflies were countless and each tagged with a number. He watched as the girl entered a new room that was still not quite filled with butterflies. She opened up the container of butterflies and reached inside the container carefully to remove one butterfly at a time.
She examined the butterfly carefully and smiled as she admired the colours and patterns on it. As she continued to appreciate the butterfly, she began to shed a few tears. After much crying, she would tagged the butterfly with a number and let it fly around the glass room. This sequence would repeat itself each time she took out a butterfly. The old man felt rather puzzled. He wanted to know why she did that over and over again.
Then when he was in the midst of his own thoughts, he saw that the girl had walked into the lower floors of the building and was completely surrounded by butterflies in a particular room. She was heard counting the tags on the butterflies aloud… 346, 305, 298, 249… It became rather clear to the old man what the girl was doing. So he went up to the door and knocked on it. The girl came to the door and gave the old man a puzzled look. “Who are you?” asked the girl. The old man said to her, “You don’t know me but I have been watching you the whole afternoon and I think you are killing yourself with these butterflies.” He shaked his head as he shared with her what he thought she was doing. She got very angry and slammed the door on his face. She rushed into her last room and sat there and started to cry.
The old man knew that the girl would not listen to his words for now and so he decided to leave for home. The girl sat there for a long time and stared at the butterflies in her room for a longer time.
At the first light of dawn, the girl was seen taking a container and walking towards the same field where she was catching the butterflies. One by one, she removed their tags and released them into the air. A peaceful smile came to her face as she watched them fly… free at last.
The old man stood by the side as he watched her let go of the butterflies. He smiled and knew that she understood what he had spoken to her.
What was it that the old man had said to the girl?
This is what he said to her:
IT IS TIME YOU STOP COUNTING THE NUMBER OF TIMES YOU FELT PAIN IN YOUR LIFE...TIME TO STOP REVIEWING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IT IS TIME TO STOP WEARING ALL YOUR PAIN LIKE A BADGE OF BRAVERY…
IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO LET GO OF THE PAIN AND LET IT FLY! THEN YOU ARE TOTALLY FREE OF THEM. THEN YOU CAN TRULY LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR ONCE!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The Story of The Little Blue Bear
Once upon a time, there lived a little blue bear named Terry. He was very different from the other animals who lived in the forest. You see, he felt different because he was blue rather than brown like the rest of the bears in his family. None of his brothers and sisters wanted to play with him. Sometimes he would wish that he was of the same colour like the rest. He tried to roll himself in mud to look more brown. But alas the rain would wash all that away and he would become blue again. Poor Terry… he had very little friends who would not laugh at him for being blue.
Butterfly and Frog were his best friends and they often play together in a little valley over the mountains. Terry felt most happy when his two friends came to visit him. You see, Butterfly and Frog did not mind that Terry was different… in fact they liked him as he is… being the only blue bear in the forest.
On most days, Terry is a happy bear with little worries… but there was someone whom Terry was terrified of. Her name is Garf the cat…she was a big bully. She scratched and meowed loudly at Terry all the time. She loved to jump out and frighten poor Terry. Terry was so timid that he would shiver at the thought of Garfield.
Butterfly and Frog hated Garf but there was little they could do to help Terry. You see, they were also bullied by Garf. She would chase and try to catch Butterfly whilst she was distracted amongst the flowers. Frog was always pounced upon by the cat who often come to the river to have a drink of water. Poor Frog lost one of his forelegs as a result of such an encounter.
One fine afternoon, Terry was strolling along past a well. He heard a soft meowing from within. He peered through the mouth of the well and asked, “Are you trapped down there?”. Just then, a flutter of wings came before Terry and Butterfly shouted angrily, “Leave that nasty cat alone! She deserves this after what I have been through!”. It was then she told Terry that Garf had slipped and fell into the well whilst trying to catch Butterfly a few minutes ago.
Poor Garf…the night was coming and she was growing cold in that wet and slimy well. “Plee…pleeease… helpppp… mmmmeeee!” stammered Garf as she pleaded with Terry. Frog came hopping by…when he heard from Butterfly about Garf’s misfortune. He peered into the well and let out a loud guffaw….”Hahaha, how does it feel down there? Hehehehe…mighty cold I do believe!!!” and he hopped away happily. Poor Terry, he was torn between helping Garf or leaving her in her pathetic state. Terry’s heart softened and he decided to help Garf despite what she had done to him in the past.
So he went into the forest and found a long log. Although he was still a baby bear, he had just enough strength to roll the log with his front paws and pushed one end into the well. Garf jumped quickly onto the log and scampered out of the well. She landed in a tired heap on the ground and whispered, “Thank you, Terry…I’m sorry for being mean to you in the past!” She fell into a deep sleep… Terry carried her gently back to her home.
Till this day, everyone would see the orange cat and the blue bear playing and laughing together like two best friends. No animal would ever dare to laugh at Terry for being blue again. You see, Garf will always be there to help her best friend, the little blue bear!!!
~The End ~
Written on 8th April 1997 at 4:38pm.
It took me less than half an hour to come up with this story in my first draft.
Butterfly and Frog were his best friends and they often play together in a little valley over the mountains. Terry felt most happy when his two friends came to visit him. You see, Butterfly and Frog did not mind that Terry was different… in fact they liked him as he is… being the only blue bear in the forest.
On most days, Terry is a happy bear with little worries… but there was someone whom Terry was terrified of. Her name is Garf the cat…she was a big bully. She scratched and meowed loudly at Terry all the time. She loved to jump out and frighten poor Terry. Terry was so timid that he would shiver at the thought of Garfield.
Butterfly and Frog hated Garf but there was little they could do to help Terry. You see, they were also bullied by Garf. She would chase and try to catch Butterfly whilst she was distracted amongst the flowers. Frog was always pounced upon by the cat who often come to the river to have a drink of water. Poor Frog lost one of his forelegs as a result of such an encounter.
One fine afternoon, Terry was strolling along past a well. He heard a soft meowing from within. He peered through the mouth of the well and asked, “Are you trapped down there?”. Just then, a flutter of wings came before Terry and Butterfly shouted angrily, “Leave that nasty cat alone! She deserves this after what I have been through!”. It was then she told Terry that Garf had slipped and fell into the well whilst trying to catch Butterfly a few minutes ago.
Poor Garf…the night was coming and she was growing cold in that wet and slimy well. “Plee…pleeease… helpppp… mmmmeeee!” stammered Garf as she pleaded with Terry. Frog came hopping by…when he heard from Butterfly about Garf’s misfortune. He peered into the well and let out a loud guffaw….”Hahaha, how does it feel down there? Hehehehe…mighty cold I do believe!!!” and he hopped away happily. Poor Terry, he was torn between helping Garf or leaving her in her pathetic state. Terry’s heart softened and he decided to help Garf despite what she had done to him in the past.
So he went into the forest and found a long log. Although he was still a baby bear, he had just enough strength to roll the log with his front paws and pushed one end into the well. Garf jumped quickly onto the log and scampered out of the well. She landed in a tired heap on the ground and whispered, “Thank you, Terry…I’m sorry for being mean to you in the past!” She fell into a deep sleep… Terry carried her gently back to her home.
Till this day, everyone would see the orange cat and the blue bear playing and laughing together like two best friends. No animal would ever dare to laugh at Terry for being blue again. You see, Garf will always be there to help her best friend, the little blue bear!!!
~The End ~
Written on 8th April 1997 at 4:38pm.
It took me less than half an hour to come up with this story in my first draft.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Safe in A Crazy World
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 2003, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me
It feels like nothing is for certain and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and I'm
Sinking to my knees but you... you cradle me
Chorus:
You keep me flying You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again
Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek
Repeat Chorus
Just when I thought my world had crumbled... this song reminded me of God's love for me.
Just when I thought it is my needy personality that pushes away my friend, this song reminded me that I am completely and utterly loved by God. I am not desperate for love!
Just when I felt so tired of being, this song gave me the reason to continue living.
Thanks Corrinne for writing such a song that gave me the real reason for my existence!
Copyright 2003, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
My heart just wants to bleed and stop
Believing in me
It feels like nothing is for certain and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and I crumble and I'm
Sinking to my knees but you... you cradle me
Chorus:
You keep me flying You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again
Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's
On a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek
Repeat Chorus
Just when I thought my world had crumbled... this song reminded me of God's love for me.
Just when I thought it is my needy personality that pushes away my friend, this song reminded me that I am completely and utterly loved by God. I am not desperate for love!
Just when I felt so tired of being, this song gave me the reason to continue living.
Thanks Corrinne for writing such a song that gave me the real reason for my existence!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Things I remember about my daddy
He loved durians, satay and chicken rice!
He laughed with great gusto.
He often wrote in cursive handwriting.
He was very good in Maths!
He was an avid reader.
He was a lecturer at St John Ambulance.
He donated countless pints of blood to Red Cross Society!
He was a storekeeper at a shipping firm.
He was respected by his fellow colleagues.
He was a patient man.
He met my mom through a matchmaker.
He thought my mom was chubby and didn't like her at first glance.
He married my mom at 32 years old.
He never quarrelled with mom.
He once wrote a testimony about his love for Jesus.
He taught me to like Mathematics.
He protected me when mom came after me with a cane.
He fell down once while trying to take me to my Primary School Sports Day.
He was admitted to Alexandra Hospital when he got very sick.
He died when he was 42 years old.
His name is Peter Chua Eng Huat.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Nearness of the Beloved One by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I think of you, when I see the sun's shimmer
Gleaming from the sea.
I think of you, when the moon's glimmer
Is reflected in the springs.
I see you, when on the distant road
The dust rises,
In deep night, when on the narrow bridge
The traveler trembles.
I hear you, when with a dull roar
The wave surges.
In the quiet grove I often go to listen
When all is silent.
I am with you, however far away you may be,
You are next to me!
The sun is setting, soon the stars will shine upon me.
If only you were here!
Gleaming from the sea.
I think of you, when the moon's glimmer
Is reflected in the springs.
I see you, when on the distant road
The dust rises,
In deep night, when on the narrow bridge
The traveler trembles.
I hear you, when with a dull roar
The wave surges.
In the quiet grove I often go to listen
When all is silent.
I am with you, however far away you may be,
You are next to me!
The sun is setting, soon the stars will shine upon me.
If only you were here!
________________________________________________
Where are you right now? where have you been? It has been 7 years. For some people, 7 years is enough to kill a marriage. While for others, 7 years is a time of doing and being. For me, 7 years is not enough. It never seem enough to forget you and your words. Not enough to take away the sound of your voice and your laughter.
As I count the days gone by, I realise I am still here. Wondering what happened to you... Wondering where you went after our last conversation...Wondering if you are truly happy right now...
I want to tell you this: Wherever you are... be yourself, be happy, be real! I will be fine... God loves me very much and is taking care of me. I know that you will find your paths that lead to your loved ones. So when you look up to the moon sometime soon, I do hope you remember me remembering you.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Story: The Little Princess - Part 3
It was this time that the princess realized that she had a very special gift. She didn't notice it at first because she thought that it was a very normal thing to have.... a voice that could sing!
One Christmas, she was asked to sing in church for they had put up the Christmas pageant for all the parishioners to see. She really enjoyed helping out with the props and things, but they needed someone to sing along in one of the songs with the choir. The little princess hesitated as she felt that she would not do a good job...the queen has always commented that she has never seem to do anything right. She was so fearful that she kept shaking her head saying, "No! Let someone else who's better do it!". The lady in charge of the choir took the princess aside and said, "Give it a try...if you don't like the song...you don't have to sing it". So the little princess walked up to the front slowly as the music floated down gently from the choir loft.
The choir looked kindly at the little princess as if to encourage her to start. She closed her eyes as she listened for the cue to start singing. From within her soul came a voice...so sudden and clear! She sang as if there was no day or night.... her voice was very different this time. She forgot the crowd before her and sang in praise of the glory of the newborn King. When she finished, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at the people in front of her...they were smiling and clapping furiously.
The little princess had never felt so happy in her whole life. This gift meant more to her than her life, because she saw that through her singing, the people saw the love and joy again being mirrored in her soft brown eyes...she could smile again! It was then that she found her love for singing...it was this singing for her God and her friends that brought the sparkle back into those windows of her soul. From this day forth, she blossomed slowly but surely from a sad and reserved girl into someone who was always ready with a smile and a listening ear for all who encounter her. It was a most enriching experience for the little princess to be amongst such simple and kind folk.
The long and lonely nights became unbearable for the queen who missed the king so badly that it drove her to seek solace in the arms of another man, a tax collector from the nearby village! It was difficult for the princess to understand what the queen was going through at this point in time, she was very confused and angry with the queen for not 'loving' the king any more. So the little princess decided that she was not going to let any other man take the place of her beloved king. Each time the tax collector came to visit the queen, she would always give him an icy-cold reception.
It was late one night when the little princess woke up suddenly and realized that the queen had not returned home, she became rather upset and confused. She walked out of the cottage in her thin and shabby nightclothes into the warm darkness outside. She knew where she was heading...the same place she would always go whenever she was unhappy.
The long and lonely nights became unbearable for the queen who missed the king so badly that it drove her to seek solace in the arms of another man, a tax collector from the nearby village! It was difficult for the princess to understand what the queen was going through at this point in time, she was very confused and angry with the queen for not 'loving' the king any more. So the little princess decided that she was not going to let any other man take the place of her beloved king. Each time the tax collector came to visit the queen, she would always give him an icy-cold reception.
It was late one night when the little princess woke up suddenly and realized that the queen had not returned home, she became rather upset and confused. She walked out of the cottage in her thin and shabby nightclothes into the warm darkness outside. She knew where she was heading...the same place she would always go whenever she was unhappy.
As she approached the marble lady, she looked longingly at the praying figure as if she was expecting St Teresa to look up from praying to smile at her. The little princess stood beneath the statue as her eyes grew more and more misty. She started to pray in a very soft voice, "Help me....St Teresa! I don't know what to do... I really hate mother because she only cares about her needs. I just want you to ask God if he can do something to make that man go away from us, and make my family whole again!" She sighed sadly as she rested her head lightly upon the feet of the marble lady.
Once again she was all alone. Silence filled the night with such sweet sorrows!
Friday, October 27, 2006
What is Real?
Excerpt taken from the Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Tonight, I felt quite silly. Sitting in front of my computer chatting with someone whom I felt was a waste of time. This was all due to the fact that I was waiting for another friend to come online. Of all things I felt during the whole conversation, I felt unreal. I felt the things I said did not make sense to him and he was thinking I was trying to tell him something between the lines. I felt that he was trying to read me as a gal and yet I was trying to be as literal as a guy could be. Yet he was clueless! I gave up after 10 minutes of trying to find a topic to chat with him. It all started a few weeks ago when we met online. But now, things have gone really stale and cold.
I started to ask myself... why do I even bother to honour a promise to come online for my other friend? Who is this stranger to me? Why do I even bother? I actually rushed home thinking that the person would be there online. I am who I am... I cannot change the fact that I do care when I say yes to someone even though the person is a stranger.
I know there is a place for people like me. I try to be as real as I can be. I do not want to play games and make people think that I have something up my sleeves. I try to keep my promises and try to be true to my feelings. I know as I re-read the Velveteen Rabbit, I can imagine myself losing hair, teeth falling out, having loose joints and all... but still be loved by people who will appreciate me for who I am. Ha!
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Tonight, I felt quite silly. Sitting in front of my computer chatting with someone whom I felt was a waste of time. This was all due to the fact that I was waiting for another friend to come online. Of all things I felt during the whole conversation, I felt unreal. I felt the things I said did not make sense to him and he was thinking I was trying to tell him something between the lines. I felt that he was trying to read me as a gal and yet I was trying to be as literal as a guy could be. Yet he was clueless! I gave up after 10 minutes of trying to find a topic to chat with him. It all started a few weeks ago when we met online. But now, things have gone really stale and cold.
I started to ask myself... why do I even bother to honour a promise to come online for my other friend? Who is this stranger to me? Why do I even bother? I actually rushed home thinking that the person would be there online. I am who I am... I cannot change the fact that I do care when I say yes to someone even though the person is a stranger.
I know there is a place for people like me. I try to be as real as I can be. I do not want to play games and make people think that I have something up my sleeves. I try to keep my promises and try to be true to my feelings. I know as I re-read the Velveteen Rabbit, I can imagine myself losing hair, teeth falling out, having loose joints and all... but still be loved by people who will appreciate me for who I am. Ha!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Those Good Ol' Days
Nothing is forever…Nothing stays the same.
So the saying goes…
Walking by the old school and realised to my horror,
Walking by the old school and realised to my horror,
Mei Chin Primary School does not exist any more.
Ah… but these memorable days will always be with me
Although these yellowish whitewashed walls remain,
the people have gone .
Strolling on the path which Dad fell and hurt himself
on that fateful Sports Day
The open space behind the stage where
The open space behind the stage where
I played 'catching' with my pals
Oh, don't forget the Science Club’s animal corner!
The first pet rabbit I’ve ever owned was Mimi.
What about the rows and rows of white troughs –
Singapore’s dental compaign in the 70s.
Oh yeah… and me losing my brushing container
at different times of the school year.
Ah… I will never forget the dental clinic
and its horrendous drilling sounds!
Shivering... being called up for that termly checkup.
The tuckshop with its yummy 50cts nasi lemak
and 10 cents could still buy me a drink.
The school library on the first floor gave me
the first encounter of Enid Blyton.
The third floor male toilet reminds me
of the time I chased CK into a cubicle.
He was so mean and kept calling me a Fat Pig.
Today, he is someone's husband and a hardworking man.
We still say hi to each other when we meet at the lift.
Those primary school days were great
because they were eventful.
Sitting before my computer
brought a sense of reminiscence.
These memories are precious
because they were created with my friends.
People like Chua Pei Yan (Big Brother), Yam Kuan (Monster),
and Chew Geok (my best friend since Pri 4).
Perhaps I will never meet them again...
Perhaps I will never know what ever happened to all of them
But I want to thank them for the times we shared,
the golden moments and tears that were shed.
And I know I'll always have a few good ol' days to share!
And I know I'll always have a few good ol' days to share!
PS. The very next day, I got my answer. I met Yam Kuan again! I found out that three weeks ago, he had become my student in my night lecture class and all these times I never knew. What a surprise it was! God knew that we will meet again! He orchestrated such a wonderful reunion... Amazing!
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Sister-Hood
This is a picture of my two bears that I brought to New York during my trip to the School of Playback Theatre. They are like me and Agnes! Good pals and close like siblings!
Before I left for New York, I had a misunderstanding with my other best friend, Agnes. It was quite a horrible feeling to not feel like confiding in her during the time I was preparing for my trip to NY. But we both knew we were too far to talk about the misunderstanding... so we waited for the time that we meet in NY.
It was difficult at first... we were so cordial with each other. Yet, deep down, we both know we have a knot in our hearts. We talked about many things but not the main issue. We caught up on old gossip and left out our true feelings about this unfortunate incident. It took us almost a week after we met each other to open up and talk about it. This is how it went...
I talk... she listens...
She talks... I listen...
We talk... God listens...
No one talks... God speaks to our hearts...
Then a miracle happens... we saw what was filling up our hearts. ENVY!
Suddenly, it did not matter if we had envy or pure jealousy for whatever we griped about each other. Then I knew we have become true sisters in Christ... for we have shown our true colours to each other.
Of course, between me and Agnes... nothing is truly over till the story is told through playback theatre style. :P
************************************************************************
I believe God gives me women friends for a very good reason. Men and women are wired very differently. My other friend, Jerry always tells me the male perspective of things. He always says, "Get over with that feeling, move on to the important stuff!". Yet as a woman, I am crying out for more understanding and ruminating about the issues surrounding the situation. At the end of the day, I run to my girl friends who would be able to support me in these ways.
But nothing prepared me for the kind of relationship I share with Agnes, it is a sisterly love that goes beyond blood ties. I have not known her for a very long time. But it takes a Christian sister to recognise another in pain, trouble or simply in need of a prayer. It also takes a Christian sister to love and forgive another who has gone off the path of righteousness. I am grateful for the Christian sisters who walk beside me each day. They teach me so much about Christian charity and the privilege of praying together as a community. They give me the grace to share my personal stories, celebrate my little triumphs and pray through my daily struggles. Perhaps this is why women are complementary in roles and personalities to men. They are so full with life, emotions and sensitivity! Only a Loving God can think of such a perfect match!
I love Agnes for God gave her to me through Playback Theatre... I always wished I had a younger sister and now I do! Although I know there will be misunderstandings... miscommunications... mistakes made some of the times, yet I have the assurance that all things happen for the good of those who loves Him. I'm going to miss her for the next 2 years... as she continues her studies in London. I hope to visit her soon :) ha!
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