Out On The Edge!

Those who know me well know that I dislike walking on planks. Especially if it is placed across a drain and I had to walk across it to get to the other side. Last night, it happened again. I had to cross a plank to get to this place to listen to a talk. As I got nearer to the area where the plank was... I saw the steep sandy slope leading to the plank. I told myself... okay this is going to take awhile for me to get across. I felt my tears welling up because I know this is the worst thing to happen... I was about to be late for my talk and I can't cross this hurdle by myself.

My last resort was to call my friend who sent her boyfriend... My hero! Sigh... it was terribly embarassing! But my panic was real... this is my saddest reality. I felt like I was a 5 year old standing there. Finally, after much encouragement and coercion, I managed to walk over the plank. Now it wasn't so hard, was it? He said to me in a cheery manner... My heart was still pumping from the horrible reality. All I knew was I had to walk fast so that I don't have to get stuck in the middle of the plank.

Tonight I am still thinking about this... my friend's boyfriend asked me... why am I so afraid of walking across the plank? It was just a plank... To him, it was just a plank. To me, it was a mountain that I had to climb. It was a real high mountain. I was glad I did not cry after the experience. But deep inside I know I have cried a thousand times. I know I am brave for many things in life... but yet, a plank can stumble me so easily. Just a plank????

The problem is I was quite upset with myself... for being such a coward. It was just a plank! So many people walked past me and must have thought how silly I was to be afraid of this plank. Then I realised that it is okay to panick and feel afraid. Well, if life is full of such "planks"... then we all have to stand there and panick for a while... there are times we cope with it and there are times we cry about it. There are times when we stand there hoping to find some kind soul to give a helping hand. Somehow things will get better... and we can get over it if we put our trust in the person who is helping us.

When I crossed over the plank, I laughed loudly and felt silly. But when I was standing there... I felt the whole world has crashed... and I couldn't imagine crossing it. All I was thinking was to turn around and go home. How often do you wish to give up just at the point when you have done all you can but still no news of success? To wait is the most excruciating thing to do... when you don't even know if success is just around the corner... or when you don't even know when is your next meal. The truth is we can cross the plank somehow... if only we look ahead. Then we see the light at the end of that tunnel, we see the rewards just waiting for us, shining in the light of God's glory.

It was a most rewarding talk. I enjoyed it tremendously. Most of all, I crossed another plank in my life. I still don't look forward to cross more planks, but now I shall not say, "Oh no, not another plank!". Instead I shall say, "Help me, God to cross this plank!"