Song: Everything is fine!

Tessa says quietly to herself
Everything's okay, everything is fine.
I don't need anybody's help.
I don't like what I see in the mirror,
But I won't let you see it.
Yet deep down, she knows...

John works late and misses his meals,
Everything's okay, everything is fine,
I don't need anybody's pity.
I don't know where I am going in my career.
But I won't let my family see my frowns
Yet deep down, he knows...

Chorus:
Are we all crumbling? Are we alive?
Where's the truth behind these lies?
We strive so hard to hide
What's deep inside of our hearts
Can you see me? Can you feel me?

Lisa walks to the nearest clinic
Everything's okay, everything is fine
I don't need any more testing
I don't know if I will be well again
But I won't let them feel sorry for me
Yet deep down, she knows...

They hear the insults.. oh the pain
Everything's okay, everything is fine.
They don't need your words to break their bones
They will take each beating as they come
But they won't let anyone see them cry
Yet deep down, they know...

Refrain:
Can you hear them calling? Can you hear them cry?
Where's the truth behind these lies
We strive so hard to be alive
Believing one day at a time
I can see you... I can feel you!

by momoko69
(6.7.2012)

Penned these words down because there are people who go through these days. Although I have no melody to go with this song, I just wanted to write the lyrics out. The heaviness of these lives gave me inspiration to write this song.

Changes Part 3

When I make a significant change in my life, the people around me have to make a change too. Last night, I was watching the movie Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang with my best pal. Our usual practice would be to buy a portion of nachos with melted cheese or a medium mixture with sweet and salty popcorn to share. But I had to refuse the nachos ritual and contend with my nut and fruit mix which I bought from Carrfour. I felt terrible that she had to eat the nachos all by herself. There were a few times I felt like caving in and grab a few nacho chips. But I remembered my resolve and the tough workout I had at the gym yesterday. I could not waste all that efforts! So I chewed my mulberries and almonds very slowly and enjoyed my movie thoroughly. This morning, I woke up with a happy feeling that another significant change in my eating habits has been made. Breakfast will never be the same again. I decided to take two slices of bread with freshly made peanut butter. Energy food keeps me going! Lots of water and complex carbohydrates will be my choices for today. My poor mum has to go along with me as well. No more lontong, roti-pratas, fried beehoon in the morning! She has to change her mindset on what makes a good breakfast. So I want to apologise to all of you will eat with me from now on. I will continue to make these changes and I hope you won't mind making such a change with me.

Changes Part 2

I don't know about you but I am a night owl. I work best when I am up late at night. Maybe it is the lack of smses and emails to answer, I feel free to plan programmes and get creative and stimulative ideas. But lately, I had moments where I am too active in my cerebral activities that I ended up having disturbed sleep. I would sleep for a short while and wake up suddenly because an idea came to me. The whole process makes me tired and grouchy when I wake up in the morning.

A new change for me is to sleep by 12am. You might be thinking that is still late. But for me, it is still early. You see, my earliest time to bed is between 2.30am to 3.30am. By the time I really lie down in my bed would 4am. That really knocks out my internal body clock. For now, that is my first step to rectify this issue. I am trying this out. By 11.30pm, I should be relaxing in bed listening to my favourite music. Perhaps now I can finally stop using the excuse of being an owl and find a new identity in being the rooster that I was born to be!

Changes Part 1

It is so easy to start a new unhealthy habit. I picked up the habit of having a snack as a reward for every teabreak time. Especially on those days when I did not eat a proper meal or had a stressful day, I would tell myself that I deserve a snack later. Then I would make unhealthy choices as a reward meant I should be nicer to myself.

These days when I want to have a snack, I bring one along in my bag. It is usually an apple. If I know it is going to be a long day, I would bring two apples. It is a conscious choice and effort for me.Going to the movies also meant unhealthy snacks for me too. I love to eat and watch movies, it is a conditioned response. How many of us can stand before the popcorn counter and resist the temptation of buying a combo pack which consists of popcorn/nachos with cheese and drinks? Honestly, I ate an apple the other day when I was watching the movie "The Killers". I actually felt good. With all the smells of popcorn, hotdog and chips, I am eating something that is healthy and going to benefit my body.

Wow! It was a revelation! As I threw away my apple core and walked out of the cinema, I could almost hear my gym trainer say, "well done, my sheep!"! Ha! One obstacle conquered this time and I felt proud of myself.