Poem: In the secret place

Do you know...
Why we cry
In the valley
Deep within
A yearning
To know and be loved

Do you remember
The secret place
Where stillness lives
The forgotten core
Of your being
Seeking Him

Don't you know
That's what's missing
The burning sensation
Caused by Him
Who loves you most
The secret dweller

Don't you forget
Who you are
In His eyes
You are beloved
Transforming daily
With His love

By momoko69
30.11.2014

Poem: The Song Of A Reluctant Healer

 

 

I asked the ultimate question

Within the depths of my being.

Hoping to find readymade answers…

To quell my incessant probing.

For years, I seek the world…

For remnants of love and fame.

Yet the truth of the matter is…

I have only begun to know its name.

Today I stand before you, my friend.

A changed woman not by her might,

Transformed by the faith and love

Of a Saviour who refused to fight.

Who am I to you, my Lord?

That you would want from me…

I have pittance to offer you.

Haven’t I paid the fee?

I crumble silently under the weight

Of invisible tears and broken parts.

Where do I begin… how do I start?

To heal these once shattered hearts…

Once again I have been stumped 

By frail human limitations.

Humbly and reverently I wait…

For subtle divine intercessions.

(written by momoko69, 28/11/2001)

For years after being burnt out at church, I refuse to accept my true calling to be God's healing hands. To reach out to his people meant that I have to be less of Anne and more of Christ. I didn’t want to give… I felt spent and all used up. Most of all, I didn’t think I was good enough to be made an instrument of God. Unworthy and unappreciated… almost sucked dry whenever I give. So I thought this was a good thing… self preservation! But little did I realise I'd missed the point completely. It is to lean on the knowledge and strength of our Lord. It is to depend wholly unto Him who gives us wisdom and understanding to bring peace and healing to people who have yet to know him. Thank God, for the Helper who gives insights into my feeble mind.

From me to Papa

Papa God,

You knew me before I was born.
You probably saw me in my first conception, and you saw my future before me.
You probably frowned at some decisions I have made along the way all these years.
But you look out for me each time I fall.
The cuts and bruises were not so painful because You were always there beside me in silence.

Thank you for never giving up on me despite my rebellious spirit.
You are always there to open your arms each time I run home to you.
Thank you for reminding that I am loved when I don't feel so good about myself on gloomy days. There are days where I doubt if You made the right decision to choose me for each job.
But You convince me that the journey is worth far more than the destination.

Papa, when You look at me now, I hope I've made You proud. Not by what I do, but by the way I try to live my life by not looking back and moving forward to make each day count.

What counts is who I am in Your eyes.

Yours truly,
your Sheep in Progress

Reconnecting with God Through Primitive Ways

I have not been writing much these days. Perhaps the iPhone is to be blamed... much of my time is spent updating my status on Facebook. I realised I don't have much interest in writing anything since then. Recently when I started to write poetry on Facebook, I discovered I felt more alive than I have ever been in the past year or so.

Last Sunday, I started to write again. I mean on paper! Using a multicoloured pen and my notebook, I started to take notes using the most traditional ways. It actually felt good! I could write notes the way I want to, draw relevant pictures to help me remember the sermon and take time to make the sermon look colourful using my multicoloured pen.

I miss taking sermon notes this way. The iPhone makes me dull in my mind. I stopped being creative in my note-taking style. Thank you, God for your creative ways! I feel so much more awake when I use my hand to write and draw. The point of doing this is to help me make more sense of the sermon pointers and apply them back into my life on a daily basis.

Going back to basics is so important to our spiritual life as well. How often we take for granted the gift of salvation... the point of being saved and the grace of being forgiven. Whenever I feel like my spirit man feels empty or drained, I would go back to the first time when I feel closest to Him. The ways which helped me connect with Him again. The drawings, the poems, the writings, the thoughts are all part of His ways to communicate with me.

Father God, lest I forget You
Lest I take each day in vain
Teach me how to trace my steps
To where it began

Teach me the basics once more
That I may rekindle my heart's flames
Reboot my connection with you
To boost this failing spirit

As I draw, write and ponder
Bring me a refreshing perspective
Of Your Heart and Mind
That I may appreciate You once more

by momoko69
11.5.2011

A Little Psalm

It took a song
To remind me of Your love
A love that was paid in blood
Your love has won my heart

That year in a little room
My tears knew no bounds
But You reminded me
You love me in spite of everything

I have failed you
Seventy times seven
Yet I see you running
With open arms
Today, this song begins again
The tears start to roll
A gentle reminder of Your stubborn love

by momoko69
30.10.2010

Who Am I, Lord?

I am nothing without You
Zilch even with all that is within me
Devoid of the facade that I create
Empty is my spirit that yearns for Your voice
I am made complete in You
Fulfilled in wholeness of being
The sum of all the parts
The missing piece that came home
I am humbled before You
When what is perfect meets daily inperfections
I take no delight in bragging my achievements
For You alone is my Glory.

by momoko (29.3.2010)