Poem: REMINDER NOTES FOR HER

Remind me before I slowly go mad
How much I love the blue sky
Its fluffy clouds and frivolous dreams
Where once I knew my existence

Remind me before I slowly grow deaf
How much I care for your affirmations
Your caring words and hugs
Could have been my main source of strength

Remind me before I slowly become blind
How worthless your acts of service
When all you do
Is break down the very bond that held us together

Remind me before my soul completely dies
How you have become so dead
To my inner cries
When the time comes for you to go
Forgive me if I cannot cry any more.

By
momoko69
26.8.2015

Poem: For The Last Time

I want to remind myself...
This is worth my time
I do it for old time's sake
Perhaps we have forgotten
What it was like in the old days

I want to remember
The hours we spent laughing
Making it work for the last time
Taking this as my gift to you
Believing that it is enough

I hope you get this
I don't need to say anything
I just want to say goodbye
As long as you know
It will never be the same again

By momoko69
21.9.2015

Note:
Perhaps he will never know that I have said goodbye to the past that is tied to our friendship. The new beginning now is simply one of acquaintance. I like it when I cannot remember his number by memory now. Perhaps that is a sign.

Short Story: The Heart of the Spirit

Perhaps this is a time in her life that Ariana has never experienced before. She wondered if this is the right thing to do. Her mom had warned her that some things are better left unsaid or undone. But she felt this was important. She could not let it go. Her heart was determined to do it. So as she walked to the church across the street, all she could think about was she was told to be there at the right time.

As she stepped into the serene atmosphere of the church compound, she wondered why she was to be there at 3am in the morning. It was quite different from the usual church atmosphere of cheery laughter and joyful fellowship every Sunday. As she walked around the compound, she sensed that it was not time as yet.

Suddenly she heard a rustle in the nearby bushes, she was startled. "Anyone there?" she asked. No one answered. But she saw a shadow moved across the dark bushes surrounding the church. "I am not afraid of you, you just come out!". The rustling stopped as a voice surfaced from the darkness. "Can you help me?" the voice sounded like a young man.

He stepped out of the bushes. Under the dim streetlights, Ariana could just make out the young man to be of average height, with short tussled hair and boyish looks. He looked pretty tired from the red bloodshot eyes. Ariana was not afraid of this man at all. She felt the Holy Spirit prompting her to talk to him. "Why... are you.... here?" she asked hesistantly.

He sat down on the floor next to her and tried to tie his shoelaces that were undone. "I don't know... I felt led to this place. From afar, I saw the shining blue cross and I just knew I had to come here." She listened as he had a faraway look in his eyes. "I am quite lost... I don't have any money... no job... no friends. I am not sure why I am talking to you. Right now, I don't know if God is listening to me, but I sure hope He is because I am desperate.". Ariana did not know why, but her heart seemed to brim with sadness. She knew that there was something about his story or the way he related it that make her sad. She felt sad not because she pitied him but because God is revealing a part of His heart to her about him. She felt God saying to her that this man had travelled a long way in search of a home. To this day, this man has yet to find a place to call his home.

A soft voice started to sing... the melody was unfamiliar yet haunting. The voice filled the air as the melody floated around the young man. The young man closed his eyes as he felt the music penetrating his heart. He listened quietly and the voice kept going. This was not a song with lyrics, it was a song that came from the heart, a song that spoke to him about his disappointments in life and his inability to move out of the vicious cycle. It was singing to him and it was like God speaking to his heart. The melody went on with incomprehensible words but it seemed more uplifting. It seemed to come to a place of peace, joy and love. The song began to sing about those qualities into his heart and slowly, he felt lighter as if his burdens were lifted up. He felt God's soft gentle embrace circling his body. He felt a release of his own misery and emotions. He felt God saying, "Come home, my son!" At that point in time, he knew who he was  and where his home was.

The melody faded away. Ariana looked up with tears brimming from her eyes. She didn't know how long she had been singing but she knew she could not stop it. She knew it was a strange but lovely moment. She just knew she was born to sing it and yet she did not know how or why.

The young man stood up as he smiled at Ariana. "Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me?" Suddenly it occured to him to ask her for her name, "What's your name, young lady?". "It's Ariana." she said without a hesitation. "Do you know the meaning of your name?" asked the man whose countenance looked much better now under the street light. "It means.. sacred song." And in that moment, she finally understood why her mom named her so and this was what she heard when she was in her mother's womb.

by momoko69
(10.9.2012)

Poem: Still

In her world
All things remain
In its own orbit
In His time
Everything has
Its own place

Standing in her space
Not moving at all
Tis a good thing
He watches over her
In silence, in spirit
Time stands still

She prays, she waits
Under the crimson cover
She stands, she counts
Each second turns to hours
Patiently and surely
Her faith reminds her

He breathes, He moves
Under the clear blue sky
He yearns, He speaks
Each word turns into flesh
Gently... so clearly
His life rejuvenates her

by momoko69
(23.7.2012)

This song "Still" by Hillsong United taught me how to wait patiently and trust that God moves at the right timing. This picture I found on the internet reminded me so much about where I am now. So as I hum this song, I wrote this poem. I know now that I move because He moves. No longer will I lament about the what, when, how, why and who in all my circumstances... Whenever I am in doubt, I will look at this picture.

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Poem: The Song Of A Reluctant Healer

 

 

I asked the ultimate question

Within the depths of my being.

Hoping to find readymade answers…

To quell my incessant probing.

For years, I seek the world…

For remnants of love and fame.

Yet the truth of the matter is…

I have only begun to know its name.

Today I stand before you, my friend.

A changed woman not by her might,

Transformed by the faith and love

Of a Saviour who refused to fight.

Who am I to you, my Lord?

That you would want from me…

I have pittance to offer you.

Haven’t I paid the fee?

I crumble silently under the weight

Of invisible tears and broken parts.

Where do I begin… how do I start?

To heal these once shattered hearts…

Once again I have been stumped 

By frail human limitations.

Humbly and reverently I wait…

For subtle divine intercessions.

(written by momoko69, 28/11/2001)

For years after being burnt out at church, I refuse to accept my true calling to be God's healing hands. To reach out to his people meant that I have to be less of Anne and more of Christ. I didn’t want to give… I felt spent and all used up. Most of all, I didn’t think I was good enough to be made an instrument of God. Unworthy and unappreciated… almost sucked dry whenever I give. So I thought this was a good thing… self preservation! But little did I realise I'd missed the point completely. It is to lean on the knowledge and strength of our Lord. It is to depend wholly unto Him who gives us wisdom and understanding to bring peace and healing to people who have yet to know him. Thank God, for the Helper who gives insights into my feeble mind.

Where Charity is... Love Prevails

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Charity. He had a heart that was so big, he wanted to embrace the whole world. When he was young, he understood that people around needed love. So he would go around to give love to them. Whenever he gave away some love, he would be filled with love almost immediately in return. You see, he had a loving father who loves him dearly. Each hug Charity gave away, he received ten times more from his father. He knew he had an everlasting supply of love as long as he stays close to his father.

One day, Charity met a girl named Self. She told him that he should keep some love away as reserves. "No one would notice that you kept some for yourself" said Self quietly. He listened and thought to himself. It sounds rather logical to him. Hence, from that day forth, whenever he gave love away, he would keep a handful of it tucked away in his pocket where he also kept his secret stash of sweets. The ones he kept away from prying eyes and hands. Self reminded Charity, "After all, what happens when you leave your father one day? What are you left with? He can't be with you all the time. He is so busy with his other children. Sometimes, you don't seem to be able to reach or connect with him. So it's better to keep some love by your side. Your father will be pleased with your prudence."

Charity was convinced and he went about his usual ways. But as the days went by, the handful became a bit more than a handful, then it was an armful and more. More and more love were kept as reserves. Charity thought, "No harm keeping for a rainy day. My father will be proud of me." Soon the people around him felt cold towards him. They could not understand why Charity had become so calculative these days. He was not the same person as they once knew.

One day, Charity's father asked him to sit down for a chat. He told Charity that he noticed that he has been rather quiet lately. No more smiles and no more dancing on a sunny day. Charity shook his head when his father asked if he was unhappy that he could not be around some of the times. Charity grinned as he shared with his father the bags of love that he had accumulated over time. He was sure that his father would be pleased. His father took one look at the bags. "What have you done?" he exclaimed and sighed very deeply. "Love is meant to be given away freely! When it is kept for selfish reasons, it grows bitter and can no longer be the same again." You see love given away will always return in abundance. Then when you give it away, there is always more to share."

Charity looked into the bags of love and discovered that they had turned mouldy and stale. He knew then that these bags of love could no longer be used by anyone any more. He felt so bad about wasting all that wonderful love. How could he forget what his father had told him? He knew he had to say sorry to his father. He told him that he would not do that again. Immediately, his father hugged him tightly and Charity felt a nice warm feeling creeping back into his heart. He knew that he was filled with love once again. He went out and gave away that love immediately to an old lady who was crying while sitting on a bench in the park. He sat there next to her and at the right moment, he left her his shoulder to cry on and a hanky to blow her nose. It was a simple act of love for that day. His father beamed with pride as he watched his son walked the old lady home. In his heart, he believed that Charity would continue to grow with love and give selflessly and someday, he would someday be a wonderful father to his own son.

When was the last time you gave love away?
by momoko (19.1.2009)

An old  Catholic song goes....

Love it was that made us
And it was Love that saved us
Love was God's plan
When He made man
God's divine nature is love
Born of God's love
We must love Him
That's why He made us to love him
But only when we love all men
Can we partake of God's love

1 Cor 13:13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.